winterson

"Don't you ever think of going back?"

Silly question. There are threads that help you find your way back, and there are threads that intend to bring you back. Mind turns to the pull, it's hard to pull away. I'm always thinking of going back. When Lot's wife looked over her shoulder, she turned into a pillar of salt. Pillars hold things up, and salt keeps them clean, but it's a poor exchange for losing your self. People do go back, but they don't survive, because two realities are claiming them at the same time. Such things are too much. You can salt your heart, or kill your heart, or you can choose between the two realities. There is much pain here. Some people think you can have your cake and eat it. The cake gets mouldy and they choke on what's left. Going back after a long time will make you mad, because the people you left behind do not like to think of you change, will treat you as they always did, accuse you of being indifferent, when you are only different. (160-161)

Winterson, Jeanette. Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit. New York: Grove, 1985.